SOMEDAY

I think thats how it starts with a whole lot of pain,
with a whole lot of memories,
you give up,
you walk away,
But let me tell you
You going to be happy someday,
You going to achieve everything you desired,
with someone holding you back strongly,
with someone to falk back on,
shoulders to lean on and cry,
someone listening to you,
you are going to show how fragile you are yet strong enough to overcome all that came your way.
And may be that ‘someday’ is almost here.

Thanks for reading so far.

Let it go.

Today is Self motivation day. This post can help you too.

There were many situations where I kept explaining myself, explaining my behaviour, my intentions, my affection, my necessity, my weakness, my strengths everything in my personal life… Just to make sure that the other person is not getting me wrong. Because may be I was scared to lose them if incase they assumed something that i did not intend be . May be i really valued them so much that their opinions would affect me if it goes wrong.

Lately, I’m understanding that I’m under no obligation to explain myself to anybody how i feel about things, what am really intending to do etc.You give them too much space. I started losing myself. Infact if they really value me they will make an attempt to understand me, i dont have to do it myself. All these days may be thats where I was wrong.

I’m learning set boundaries and limit people who get to see my emotional side in my personal life. Its time that i give myself a freedom and start moving forward with my choices without having to fear about people’s opinion.

So this is what i would like to convey, atleast in your personal life you dont have to explain yourself to anybody can be your friends, family, relationships. Becuase not everbody are going to see it throught ypur perspective. Every choice you make has got is own value and all you have to do is to be true to yourself. If they dont understand trust me they are going lose a beautiful person like you, who tried to make every possible attempt be nice to them. Let them go. They lost it now. And its okay its all going to be alright.

Thanks for reading so far.

Haunting Thoughts

I really hope this helps someone out there going through difficult situations. It is not too late for you to realise that it’s enough of what ever you are going through … It’s high time you understand that nothing matters before your happiness and your dear ones. Eventually it’s all going to be alright.

It had been difficult to survive
Tough situations,
Mental break downs,
Striving through the force
but
now am tired of it,
May be i’m done with that phase,

In the chaos
Did i forget myself?
Did i lose myself to it?
Silence spoke a thousand words
I think lost my beautiful smile in this chaos !

May be its time for me to be thankful for what i’m blessed with,
beautiful family,
good friends,
well, may be not many, does not matter.

I stopped looking for it,
No more expectations,
Honestly this dint happen over night;
Self distruction, the price i had to pay for it.
But what is that stopped looking for?

Stopped looking for a fall back?
Stopped looking for moral support?
No
I stopped looking for myself in others
Its time for me now to bring myself to accept the fact that i can never get what am looking for.

I questioned myself,
Will ever get over all these thoughts that haunt me of my past ?
If not now, eventually i will !
But what is it gonna cost me ?
It is the answer i dont know.

Thank you for reading so far.

– Aparna

A random thought !

The art of fitting in.
fitting in their idea of morality,
within their idea of decency,
within their idea of best and worst,
within their idea of beauty ,

Just pretending to be like everyone , struggling to be one among them. The reality is you can never fit in. If you are flawed, yes you are.

Why is that we are always taught to fit in the culture or in the idea that was not meant for us , why are we not taught to create our own boundaries and why are we never encouraged to step out side of that box.
But what can we do about it?
I wonder.

Let me know your thoughts !!! Thank you for reading so far .

Darkest sky – Episode 3 .

I always enjoyed spending time alone..ummm… People call me introvert…. Well, may be spending time alone is their definition for being an introvert. Doesn’t matter to me actually. But this time that I spend alone is beautiful and dangerous in itself. It’s beautiful as long I visualise myself in positive situations. But goes dangerous the moment I start over thinking about situations.

I was sitting alone there on that bench waiting for the pleasant time to come,
waiting for someone to make me happy
someone to stay,
someone to understand,
someone to just listen my emotions,
but over the time i started developing more expectations on others .. failing to understand that all the chaos starts with the expectations.
Have you ever noticed that there is always something correct about something terribly wrong, it could the perspective or it could be anything. Yeah, thats I was trying to figure out. May be the struggle is the price I have to pay for being the mess I am .

Journey

🌻

I have always wished
to travel places,
walking towards unknown destinations,
Different people
All strangers,
Different culture
all beautiful faces,
A lot of expectations
I will wander all day
I will keep searching
until i find my home.
It will be 4 pm,
sun casting a shadow.
I will have to leave places,
I will leave you too someday,
but it is a relief to leave
than to be left.
Baby, dont you think so ?

Thank you for reading so far
– Aparna

My grown up girl

Today it’s something about myself…this is how I changed or may be I prepared myself for the journey.

Happy 16,
There was a beautiful smile on your face
you were so pure,
You believed in the world as a perfect place for you to grow up,
I could see the truth in everything.

Happy 18,
You were still smiling
I asked ‘Are you okay?’
and by then you learnt to say ‘i’m fine’ Hiding all your feelings,
You learnt how to tolerate
hiding it all underneath.

Happy 20,
You were happily smiling,
But I can see that honest smile,
You learnt to prioritise things
and thats when i realised you have got to know the real world,
You prioritised your happiness and pushed everything aside that is not yielding happiness.
And here you go my girl,

Thank you for reading so far.